SONY’S ‘HACK’ JOB ON THE SPIDERMAN UNIVERSE: Should Marvel Bail Sony Out?!

 Let me be clear… I didn’t go doing any research in to all the articles that came out after the SONY HACKS/LEAKS concerning Spiderman! So I’m not going to pretend that I got all the facts or the inside scoop on non of this bull shit! I’m just gonna give my two cents on what we all have read and what we know,thus far. And how I feel about the whole fucked up thing! Is that okay with you?.. Good! Lets get started shall we..

Holy Fuck! Sony has no clue what the hell they are doing! The leaks revealed SONY’S past and future plans for the Spider-Verse, and it looks like one big mess! In my humble opinion, they lost thier marbles just after SAM RAIMIS’S SPIDERMAN 3. Not the most liked installment of the series. And after the returns and feedback on the film, an that was like, a few months later, They announced a complete reboot of the Series. WTF?! There was nothing wrong with the first series. SM3 was a slip up! If Sony hadn’t had stuck thier noses into RAIMIS’S work, it would have turned out a lot better. So, with that came… THE AMAZING DISSAPOINTMENT!.. 

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN! Clearly a valiant effort.. It was… A soldier charging in to battle and was shot in the face with an arrow before he got there.. And then was trampled by all the other charging soldiers.. And then was blown to bits by a  grenade… THAT is what THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN was.. In my humble opinion. They clearly tried to establish a universe… But lost almost everything that made Spiderman who he is!

Then Came… Oh, god…. Just throw up the graphic please!… Ok… Remember the soldier?! Well, THIS! This is those bits of the soldier, that was eaten by vultures and then crapped out, to be eaten by rats that choked on it and died and then became a feast for maggots! THAT, is what This movie was! Literally everything went wrong for this movie. Sure it made big bucks at the box office… But the fan reaction afterwards sent the studio scrambling! Which leads us too the leaks!

Let me start with MARVEL STUDIOS. After the Great KEVIN FIEGIE and the fine people at MARVEL/DISNEY saw the completed CAPTAIN AMERICA:THE WINTER SOLDIER, they knew they had a sure fire hit! It’s probably safe to assume as Cap 2 was nearing distribution, Kevin and Co began to brain storm the next step for Cap 3. Clearly CIVIL WAR was the next move. Realizing the importance SPIDERMAN played in the story,it wouldn’t have come to no surprise that Kevin wouldn’t have at least tried to establish talks with SONY, And so he did.

From the LEAKS, it would appear, that the already financially struggling SONY saw an opportunity. Not wanting to risk losing the only thing that was garnering them money. Sony tries to garner a deal with Marvel that would not only benefit their pockets, but also keep their stake in the Spiderman Brand! Asking Marvel for a 60/30 profit off of whatever Marvel makes off of any Spiderman appearance in any of their films. Also, complete creative control of what Spiderman does in the movie(s) AND.. Get this.. A chance of using characters like Captain America in any future film they do.. (The Balls of these people!) And so, Kevin did the right thing and said, “You know, BLACK PANTHER would make an excellent replacement for Spiderman within the CIVIL WAR story we want to tell… Thanks so much for helping me realize this! Bye Sony!” *Click* and now Sony is up shits creek with out a paddle!

As more  and more emails and documents are leaked, it is revealed that not too long ago they planed a “SPIDEY-SUMMIT” for this upcoming January, where they get all the people that are working within their Spider-Verse together and try to map things out! It is rumored, (or confirmed from the leaks) that Kevin will be among those in attendance. In what capacity, is not known. Spider-Hungry fans are chomping at the bit for news that Spidey will be coming home to Marvel, and the demand of such a thing has grown tenfold with these LEAKS! “Marvel and Sony talked about Spidey!??! Seriously!? Is he coming Home!? Please come home spidey!!!” Is what most of them say… Probably. Fans want the “Real” Spiderman, and a “Real” CIVIL WAR Story! And to that I say… NO THANKS! 

As a big Spider-Man Fan, and an even BIGGER MARVEL FAN! I’m willing to say, no thanks.. Not right now! Don’t get me wrong.. I want Spider-Man back where he belongs! Back in the House of Ideas! I have a flag that says, “BRING SPIDEY HOME!” But in very fine print it says on the bottom.. “But not yet!”

Marvel has its slate set and ready to go. Yes, everything is going to take the next five or six years to make, and there’s plenty of time to change things up, just in case Spiderman does come back in to the mix. But, I firmly believe Marvel should stay the course and do their thing. Marvel doesn’t need Spiderman, Sony needs Marvel to need Spiderman! Marvel shouldn’t pull a “Government Style Bail-Out” for Sony. “Let them fail” so to speak. Let Sony, have its January meeting, see if they can get the ship sailing on course. SINISTER SIX is still on the schedule for 2016 as far as I know. So they do have time to get all their things in order.. If they can’t.. Let their Spidey-Contract expire… And then!! Only then! Marvel can bring Spiderman home! Give him, and us, time to recover. Then, once INFINITY WAR 1 and 2 is over, and it’s time to start a new slate of Marvel Studios films for Phase 4,5 and 6. CAPTAIN MARVEL 2, BLACK PANTHER 2, THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN, and you lay your groundwork for THE MIGHTY AVENGERS! (Or something like that!)

Sony is in the same position as WB/DC, it’s just tougher because all they have, is the one character. But, AMS and AMS2 was like DC’s SUPERMAN RETURNS and GREEN LANTERN. Both missed their marks by an acre! But they are just about One Good movie away from getting things together. As much as I want Spiderman back Home… It just shouldn’t happen yet.. I wish Sony the best of luck!

[“Wow! I’m impressed by your.. Candor and your ability to see reason in this article..”] Yeah, thanks.. And plus, it’s only logical. Right now, Marvel is really pushing it with having  Three movie in production in a single year! Could you imagine how long it would really be before we get a Marvel’s Spiderman movie. It’s kinda good to have a couple of other studios to carry the load a little. That way we get more Marvel character centric films per year! [“Very wise of you my friend! You’ve really grown in to a calm rational…] WHO THEY REALLY NEED TO BRING BACK TO MARVEL RIGHT NOW, IS SILVER SURFER!!! THEY REALLY DO!! FOX IS ONLY GONNA MESS IT UP AGAIN IF THEY PUT HOM IN THE FF REBOOT!! BRING SURFER HOME! BRING SURFER HOME! BRING SURFER HOME!! [“Damn it… I spoke to soon!”]

BRING SURFER HOME!

[” I guess I’ll be closing it out..”]

BRING SURFER HOME!!

[“So, Until next time folks… Peace out!”]

 

 

 

So.. A Korean Midget Hacked Up Spider-Man’s Web, With A Picture From Sony?!? WTF?!?

Wow… Roseanne looks great for her age! [“Thats not Roseanne.”] What do you mean?! That’s her! She just got a butch haircut, is all.. [“That’s Kim Jong Un! The Dictator or North Korea!”] Whaaa….. Hold on… Holy Shit! Oh, ok.. Uhm.. Well, good for him? It is a ‘Him’ right? [Yes! Just get to the article already!”] What am I talking about? [“The Sony Hacks!”] oh! Yes, thank you.

Yes.. I’m late as hell to the Sony Hack-Off Job Party.. But there’s still a shit load of crap still coming out. And in all honesty I do not like what I’m hearing! For those of you who don’t know. The U.S Government Officials have confirmed that SONY PICTURES was hacked by a North Korean Internet ‘Terrorist’ cell, calling themselves “THE GUARDIANS OF PEACE” [“I think Marvel may have grounds to sue there.”] Indeed!

These Leaks have consisted of hundreds upon hundreds of personal in house Emails and documents, and also some Movies were leaked out on to the interwebs! Among them, “ANNIE”, “FURY”, and if I’m not mistaken “THE INTERVIEW” which is the movie that started this whole nonsense in the first place!

When the film was first announced, there were a lot of grumbling from the House of Kim! Then the trailer dropped and N.Korean officials stated that if The U.S did not prevent such a film from being released, thier would be dire consequences, very DIRE!! This of course coming from a country with one submarine that hasn’t been manufactured since… The 30’s or 40’s![“yeah, the Russians called that sub absolute!”] and they can’t launch a successful rocket if it saved Un’s life! [“I think they had at least one good one!”] Thats besides the point. Anyway, Sony Pictires and the rest of the world shrugged off the threats and went along with business as usual. THE INTERVIEW was actually supposed to be released in the summer, but was pushed back to the holiday season. So, the threats and everything just slipped out minds. [“Meanwhile! At the Leigon Of Doom!”] Ha! Good one! [“Thanks”] It would appeare that Kim Un had some “Hackers” set to work on Sonys firewall, [“Allegedly! You should say.”] Whatever, [“Well, you should. Those details haven’t been completley proven at this point. We have to be at least alittle bit politically correct!”] Thats why I have you here! I still find it hard to believe. I bet he had SOUTH Korean computer people kidnapped and had them do it for him! [“Dude.. Your a censors worst nightmare! Folks don’t listen to him! We dont know that for sure, or if its true at all!”] Punk Ass! [“Your the one giving false info!”]

Anywaaaayyy!! A couple of days ago, After a much more serious threat to American cinemas across the country, Sony decided to pull THE INTERVIEW from the theaters. It had its LA PREMIER.. But that’s it! Who knows what’s going to happen to that movie now?! At first I ridiculed Sony for pulling the film, by tweeting this little gem.

I believed that, until I heard what the threat was… And Sony did the right thing! Better to keep the American Public safe, then to make a stupid buck off a movie. So.. Good…. Job… Sony! [“Wow.. That took a lot for you to say huh?”] Yea, Usually Sony fucks shit up so much.. I just… [“It’s okay Pal. I feel ya!”] I mean.. How do you fuck up Spiderman!??!

OMG!! SPIDERMAN!! The Leaks/Hacks also revealed a crap load of stuff about Sonys work with Spiderman and his universe! Okay, first off.. [“WHOA! WHOA! Hold the phone there pal! Your supposed to save that for the next blog!”] oh yeah! Your right… So, what do we do know? [“Lets try this..”]

TO BE CONTINUED…..

Oh, yeah.. That sounds good. Nice one. [“No problemo.”]

So, Until next time folks… Peace out!